What is a good working relationship?

All couples need to have a way to work through their differences and resolve problems. The first year of living together is about figuring this out. Some couples, through trial and error, are able to figure it out all on their own. Other couples are not; they limp along struggling with each other, often repeating the same fight over different issues.

When you are learning to cook you find a receipe for what you want to cook, you get the ingrediants, you follow the receipe and get a result. When you’re learning you may have to do it many times before you get the result you want. You may have to adjust the receipe. You may have to consult with an more experienced cook. Eventually you figure it out. With experience, you get good at it.

A good working relationship is the receipe you use when you deal with the differences between you and for resolving problems. It is the process that the two of you go through to handle interactions in your relationship. It could even be handling good things. I once worked with a couple who had won a small ($50,000) lotto prize and they were fighting about it.

In good working relationship each partner is able to bring to their partner difficulties they are having individually and with each other. Their partner is open and available to address the issues. The couple talk the issues through, hear each other’s point of view and each other’s experiences – positive and negative. Perhaps nothing needs to be done because misunderstandings get cleared up and assumptions are clarified.

If change is needed, the couple brainstorm changes that might work for them. Usually no one makes unilateral changes. They make the decisions together. They are emotionally connected in a good way. Neither feels alone in the world. They have a successful partnership. They work well together.
With care and concern,

Dr. Bea Makcay

Do it Yourself Relationship Help at B-Sort.com

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