The following is Part 1 of a previously published article that I wrote. I see and hear more and more people criticizing themselves when they forget a name, a word, or forget what they were going to say or do. Criticism is unnecessary and counterproductive to both feeling good about yourself, and remembering your intent. […]
COMMUNICATION SKILLS REFLECTIVE LISTENING AFTER THE FACT MAKE THE FUZZY CLEAR PUT THE INSIDE OUTSIDE MIXED MESSAGE: RETURN TO SENDER TURN YOUR QUESTIONS INTO STATEMENTS. TALK WITH ME NOT AT ME THE INSTANT REPLAY
Many people say, “There is no use talking about the past, you can’t change it.” I think it is their idea of how they and other people recover from an event or events that were traumatic. Perhaps it is the only way they know how to deal with difficult painful events and circumstances. It’s true. […]
Scenario: James watched as his son, a talented goalie, let in a goal that lost the game. Exasperated he let out a cry of disgust. As James and his son walked away from the hockey rink James berated him for not trying hard enough. His discouraged son emphatically tried to convince him that he had […]
One day when I was about seven, I over heard my mother talking to the Fuller Brush salesman at the door. Usually my mother wore a dress but today was cleaning day so she was wearing pants. My mother was a white Anglo-Saxon protestant. She was born in Canada and spoke perfectly good English. She […]
How parents (and others) can make it better or make it worse! Others can be relatives, teachers, religious leaders, coaches and neighbors, etc. Rivalry is healthy. It is normal and natural for siblings to compete with each other. The competition prepares them for the world at large. Healthy individuals are able to compete with others […]
Every couple needs to develop a good working relationship that enables them to resolve differences and solve problems. Some couples do this well while others do not. When problems are addressed rather than ignored, resentment and tension do not build up. When couples have the tools to address problems they are more likely to use […]
Part 1: In a Bind. I was cooking up some dinner for my two year old grandson as I happily awaited his arrival. We were going to hangout together while mom and dad took in a movie. I don’t think of it as babysitting because I love to spend time with him and he loves […]
A common complaint partners make is that they cannot communicate with each other anymore. It is not because of a lack of trying. It is not because of a lack of hearing the words or not picking up on non-verbal cues. It is because they are not able to truly listening to each other. As […]
All relationships evolve over time. There are natural developmental stages of marriage and family that every couple goes through from the beginning to the end. Reorganization of the spousal relationship at each stage is unavoidable. Some couples reorganize in a healthy way, while others reorganize in an unhealthy way. It is how a couple reorganizes […]